Get Lost Magazine - Letters, September 1999

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S N I P P E T S :

Jean Luc Harris, October Spokesdog, is famous for his fetching good looks, his Sheltie Football prowess, and his humans who like to attribute lofty thoughts to him. He has informed me that he really thinks mostly about the menace that bowling balls present to society, and would one day like to work rehabiliating disabled chipmunks. His humans are expecting a Y2K baby that he hopes will be able to throw a frisbee as soon as its eyes open .

Letters to Get Lost Magazine

We Have Rights, and a Few Good Lefts, too...

I'm sorry to have to inform you that the phrase "Get Lost" is already copyrighted as the official slogan of SARSET (Search and Rescue Satellite) of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. I have the bumper sticker to prove it.

hee hee.
regards,
B. T. Corwin

Dear B. T.: I think that our method of protecting our magazine title falls under the rock-solid legal umbrella of "Why is it ours? Because we SAY so, THAT'S why!" No jury of second graders would convict us.

-Your Editor, who's just pasted a Reptile Gardens bumper sticker on top of your SARSET bumper sticker. Hey. Your subpoena is all the thanks I need.

We Swim Corrected.

Hey, Get Lost:

Just a point of clarification. All those fish I cleaned [Get Lost Magazine, September 1999]. Well, we really did eat them after all. My attitude is waste not, want not. I took their filets and gave away a whole lot, then went home and ate fish for days, weeks, months. In fact I'm not so sure there aren't some still in the freezer after all these years.

Martha Jordan
marthaj@premier1.net

Dear Lady Dahmer: Fish in your freezer would be the most predictable thing in it. Tell us, is it next to the multi-part Great Dane carcass, the suspended animation Trumpeter swan or the rock-solid squid?

-Your Editor, who's got your number, ya little wacko

From The "Echhs" Files:

From: Mulderish
Date: Mon, 9 Aug 1999 21:03:56 EDT
Subject: lettuce to the editor

I would to write a Letters to the Editor but I'm in the rain forest 23 miles north of Los Angeles trying to save the rare Southern California Warble-headed Screenwriter. When I get back to civilization (Ohio) , I'm write you. BTW your last issue came folded and sticky. I think my mailman is using it to pleasure himself.

Fox

Dear Fox: What exactly do we do here at Get Lost to deserve such revealing and peculiar mail?

-Your Editor, who's never printing another magazine on paper as long as she lives.

Just wait until that Get Lost Cookie sale...

Leslie,

Checked out your magsite and I must say it is darn professional, very well organized, and just so much fun. Really, congrats on a great presentation. Next thing you know you'll be going public in an Internet IPO that jumps 400% on its first day of trading, making you an instant billionare. Think of all the dolphins you could save with the money!! Loved seeing you at NAB and looking forward to Y2K.

Don Lennox, Washington DC

Dear Don: Since we ripped off - er - were inspired by Salon Magazine when we designed our own magazine site, we were especially excited by the prospect of growing into a multi million dollar publication with top writers, huge budget, millions of readers, two issues a week, respect from the literary community, top programmers, and interactive panels made up of a brain-trust of the world's wittiest minds. Such a sophisticated influence would explain our tendency to run funny pictures of dogs.

Glad you enjoy the magazine, and perhaps next April in Las Vegas we can smuggle the dolphins out of the Mirage. I saw it in a movie once.

-Your Editor, Who Doesn't worry much about reality.